Leave

You are constantly coming closer and closer. I keep feeling cold. You ask if I am alright. Candidly, I well and truly have no response to this. What do you really wish me to say?

Your as-always-warm hand attempts to approach me, touch me, caress me. Pretending not to have noticed I turn the other way. The feeling of your touch is just something that I cannot bare right now. I have to complete a very difficult task today.

“What’s wrong?” your gentle voice asks.

“Lots of thing.” I reply.

Suddenly, as if completely out of the blue, you step back. Your face is not in my vision range at this moment; however, I am guessing that your eye-sight moves up and down at the floor without concentrating anywhere. Your voice breaks.

“You know that I can’t. It’s not that I don’t wanna.” Awkward words from an awkward presence.

“You mean a lot to me, you gotta know that.”

My strength and courage are at the point of abandoning me. My thoughts have to be united and uttered quickly otherwise I might surrender to my wounds.

“You have to go.” I calmly say.

“What? What do you mean?” you sound confused.

“What didn’t you understand? I'm glad that you've come. Now, if you don't mind, go.” answering your pointless questions is getting really frustrating.

“I don’t wanna go. I want to stay here with you, I missed you. C’mon, don’t act like this. You know you want me to stay.”

Your nerve meets not boundaries. I simply cannot hold back any longer. So, I finally burst; burst into invisible already-shed tears and a torrent of words. Do not blame me for I had to.

“LEAVE! Please, leave, free yourself. I don’t understand, you’re already gone anyway, so leave. Let go of me. You said what you have to, now LEAVE!”

“But…” you seem socked; indubitably, you expected nothing like this. You get hold of my hand in an attempt of calming me down.

“Let go of my hand. YOU SAID WHAT YOU HAVE TO, NOW LEAVE!”

Please, leave.

Dedicated to a freaking damn perfect departure.